Learn some simple techniques to shift from judgement to acceptance
I used to think that criticizing myself was a noble thing, that it meant I was striving to be better — not necessarily better than others, just better than who I was in that moment. I also used to think — and actually took pride in the fact — that I only judged myself, but never anyone else. Eventually I saw that I was wrong on both counts.
Not only was I viewing myself through a critical lens, I was doing the same to others, too. It turns out, they are inextricably intertwined, because what we judge in ourselves, we judge in others. I also realized that my self-criticism was chipping away at my self-esteem and self-confidence.
It seems a majority of HSPs/empaths have the self-judgement habit.
In a recent social media survey of 160 self-identified HSPs/empaths, 130 reported to self-judging frequently or all the time. That's 81% of us!
On one hand, it makes sense for us to be more judgemental. We were designed to observe more, analyze more and make careful decisions. Some of that process includes assessing what is good, bad, safe, threatening and so on.
But deep down, we know that the universe responds to our thoughts and feelings. We know that our judgemental thoughts affect us on the vibrational level and that we are attracting what we put out.
Maybe your judging thoughts come from that voice in your head of your hyper-critical mother, or the embarrassing or traumatic event that you have claimed as your "story". Whatever source is behind your self-judgement doesn’t matter.
But here are three things you can do to PUT THAT FIRE OUT!
1) When you begin to have a critical thought about yourself or someone, stop and say out loud or in your mind “That’s interesting.” For example, you knock over a glass and it shatters on the floor. Your first thought might be I’m such a clutz, never paying attention to what I’m doing. Nix the Negative! The neutral statement “That’s interesting,” shifts the energy instantly and opens your field to allow for compassion and forgiveness to enter (which are much higher vibration emotions).
2) The other powerful statement for non-judgement is “No wonder.” Let’s say you beat yourself up for missing a deadline at work, then you got into a fight with your friend and suddenly you can’t find your wallet. It’s easy to let events like this snowball into a barrage of ongoing hyper-criticism, but watch (feel) what happens when you say, “No wonder.” The vibration of the words, coupled with your intention to be self-forgiving, will bring forth a swell of restorative energy, clearing your focus and allowing you to see how self-criticism impacts the events that follow it. “No wonder” also works well in offering a compassion to others who are going through a challenging time.
3) JOIN Dr. Michael Smith, intuitive empath, coach, healing practitioner and author for a one-time pop-up class with me on Self-Judgement. This is a LIVE class (occurred on August 27, 2019, but the replay is available now) where you'll hear Michael and I talk about self-judgement from the spiritual perspective and he'll teach exercises to clear out old judgments and maintain a more open, self-compassionate vibration.
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