Getting past the right, wrong, hurts, anger and need to forgive
Being an HSP/empath, I did not grow up with healthy boundaries and that meant I was a target for bullying and physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. For many years, I foolishly walked around wearing the Victim label like designer jeans. Eventually, I found my way to a great therapist who helped me get out of the victim mode and who recommended some self-help books that taught me the power of forgiveness.
Even though forgiveness had allowed me to release my hurt and anger, I somehow got it in my head that by forgiving someone, it confirmed that I was in the right and they were in the wrong. So although I was letting go of the pain I felt, I held on to the judgement that the person was, on some level, bad.
Then over the next few years, I gathered these nuggets of spiritual wisdom that changed my perspective and taught me to operate from a higher place:
For me, learning how to find that place beyond forgiveness included these steps: ACCEPTING that I am part of that other person's journey (good, bad, whatever...) as much as they are part of mine; APPRECIATING that "bad behavior" (faults, frailties and offenses) comes from a place of fear, an unhealed wound, or a lack of understanding; ACKNOWLEDGING that God is still working in that person (and me) and finally, EMBRACING all of it as part of the bigger picture - the divine design.
If you are having judgmental or unforgiving thoughts about someone in your life (or even public figures you see on the news!), I invite you to try this exercise.
Think of the person and their offense against you, then answer these questions:
We are all on this human journey together. Some may stumble and fall on the path more than others. Surely those who have found their footing can be of the most service.
With great love,